Another February, another year....my efforts at chronicling the life and times of yours truly have been spotty to non-existent. My reasons are varied and in my own mind seemingly valid, but upon close inspection it is yet one more thing that has fallen through the cracks...put aside for more "pressing" things and then never quite gotten back to. In addition there has been many moments during 2009 that I simply have not wanted to write. The daily motions of life itself have been wearing me down and now by this most recent February 2010 I am feeling tired, worn out and more than a bit discouraged. Makes you want to read on..doesn't it.
I am not unique in these tough times. In fact I am typical of what so many people are currently dealing with and going through. My job is in jeopardy, I have taken a pay cut, my home is barely above water, my health insurance is practically non-affordable and during these my prime earning years, my salary is heading down. Gas prices mean I travel less, can't afford luxury items and must make hard decisions regarding giving up cable and other extras.
Life in this February comes with a built in layer of fear. It hangs over me and is always in my thoughts. Like a persistent ache or pain it constantly reminds me that I am one of those people who could easily become homeless dues to one large scale financial catastrophe. I recently had to take my car in due to the "check engine" light coming on....$800.00 later I am even more sure of how close I am to being one of the statistics that I hear about on the news.
Through all this I consider myself lucky. I have a job still, I have a house still, I have a car that still runs. There are so many in far worse shape than I that I feel about the only place I can vent is here....in the relative solitude of this blog. I need to keep on my game face...keep my chin up, show those around me and myself that in spite of everything life goes on. I must remind myself that there are still wonderful aspects to each and every day and that if I lose sight of those and the people that help to make them, that I too will become a victim instead of a victor.