A Donut Dilemma

Each of us are constantly in one way or another tested. In our career, our personal lives, we face many obstacles, challenges and roadblocks on our journeys. Some we tackle head on, some we go way around to avoid dealing with and some...just sneak up on you.

Lots of stress in my life lately. Stress with home and family, but even more are the work stresses. Anxiety over projects coming up, over personnel changes, and a lack of resources have made the past couple of weeks particularly challenging. But you do what you have to do....you focus, you hunker down and you "git er done". I deal with stress in a variety of ways....none of which is universally recommended, but pretty common I think.

I internalize. Always a popular choice. Keeping it inside, makes for a non-messy exterior, but an ulcer at 35 proved that my insides were not cooperating.

I drive. I get in the car, turn on the music and drive. I usually head North although I don’t know why. Driving lets me think and puts distance between me and the problem. Prescott is particularly popular for me.

I eat. The most popular of my stress reduction techniques....I took comfort in the simple joys of eating....comfort foods comforted me...never long lasting, but for the moment, it could always sooth away the most difficult of stress or anxiety. Many foods were always high on my stress eating top ten ( and no celery or carrot sticks were not among them). Coming in a consistent number one or two was that deep fried temptation...the donut.

Since making the decision to redirect my life in a new and healthier direction over the last 18 weeks I said a tearful goodbye to my special glazed friend. Knowing that a healthy future did not begin or end with a Krispy or a Dunkin.

After an early morning meeting where even more was heaped onto my already overflowing plate and losing a valued employee today that would leave me even further behind on all projects I returned to my desk and there sitting on the filing cabinet next to me was manna from heaven....two full, fresh boxes of donuts. They were so fresh you could smell the yeast and the unmistakable combination of cinnamon and sugar. Three dozen big, beautiful comforting confections all there for me to look at. Every part of me craved those donuts, any dedication or reminder of my 35 lb weight loss was nowhere to be found. I needed them. I was majorly stressed, depressed, and needed more than anything else the comfort that any or all varieties of donut might bring me. I know it was weak, knew it was fleeting, but more powerful than I can describe to you.

Rationalizing had already begun....I could treat myself - I had been doing so well, a few donuts would not hurt my overall weight loss. So I got up and walked over to the donuts and picked them up and carried the boxes across the room, came back to my desk grabbed a handful of almonds and realized that I was a bit stronger than I had realized and it felt good.